We finish our conference call with Latoya and the case worker continued to talk with us on the phone.  She asked how we were feeling and what we were thinking.  The only words we had were wow! IS this really happening?  We had waited for so long for a baby and it was going to happen, TOMORROW!!  The case worker told us to have a good evening and she would see us in the morning.  We hung up and called our parents.  There was so much to do!  This was happening so fast!!  Thank heavens for Walmart!! My mom took me and Kendall to Walmart to buy a few things we needed for tomorrow, like a car seat, diapers, onsies, some bottles, well we need everything!!  We were both so excited and overwelled at the same time all we ended up buying was a car seat, diapers, wipes, bottles, onsies, a blanket, and a outfit to bring our new baby home in. 

We didnt sleep at all the night, or any of the nights that followed :).  When we woke up that morning we sat at the phone and waited, and waited, and waited.  The case worker was going to call us when they started Latoya, so we waited and waited.  What if she changed her mind, what if something is wrong?  What if What if?  Then the phone rang.  We already had the car loaded up so we headed straight to Salt Lake Regional Hospital where we would get to meet Latoya and our new baby boy!

We were now all on line to have the conference call. The case worker began by introducing each of us. We then began to listen as to why Latoya had decided on adoption for her little baby boy. She explained how she wanted her child to have a better life than what she could give him. She said that she had came to Utah to have her baby and had the intention of having her baby go to an African American family. She had been in Utah since she was 3 months along and had looked at possible adopting families profiles since she arrived. She had not found one that she felt would be the perfect one, until she saw ours, and she knew she wanted us for the parents of her baby boy. Kendall and I both took turns telling a little about our selfs, even though we were both scared to death about saying the wrong thing everything just went smoothly. Latoya then said that she had went to the Dr. that morning. She said that her doctor wanted to start her last week because she was starting having some health problems but she told the dr no because she hadn't found a family for her baby, but now that she found the perfect family the doctor was going to induce her TOMORROW, Sept. 1, and she wanted us to be in the delivery room. Kendall and I looked at each other with a surprised look as we both said yes, we will be there.

The Perfect Profile

When Kathy asked me to fax our profile to her I was excited and nervous at the same time. We faxed the profile to her and then just sat and waited wondering what was next. That night at work, a Tuesday night, my cell phone rang from a number I was not familiar with. It was Kathy saying that she had shown the birth mother our profile pictures and she had fallen in love with it. The birthmother wanted us to be the parents of her baby. Kathy then went onto the cost of thing, which at this point my heart sank. How on earth were we going to come up with that amount of money by Sept. 22, the day the baby was to be born. Kathy then said that the birthmother, Latoya, wanted to talk to us on the phone. We set up a time to have a conference call for 3:00 p.m. on wednesday afternoon. Wednesday morning we went to work on figuring out how we were going to come up with the money if everything went as it as we thought and we would be adopting this wonderful baby. We got paperwork faxed to us from Kendalls 401 K and started to fill out the loan papers. We faxed them back and we had been approved, the only thing was it would take a few weeks to receive, but that was ok beacuse the baby wasnt going to be born until Sept. 22.

Wednesday morning came and it seemed to drag on forever. I kept looking at my cells phone to make sure I hadnt missed a call, then checking the house phone to make sure it was charged. Just before 3 the phone rang. It was Kathy, she began by giving us a heads up to how things were going to go. She said that Latoya went to the doctor today and had some exciting news for us. I was so nervous I felt like the phone was going to fall on the ground cause I couldnt hold it still. Kendall got on the other line and Kathy began to join us in the conference call with her, Latoya, and us.

I pick up the phone and called A Act of Love Adoption agency out f Sandy Utah. The receptionist answered and I began to tell her my story, all about the fertility treatments, how we didn't care if it was a boy or girl or what the race of the child was, and how we had got there adoption information in the mail years ago, but for some reason I felt I needed to contact them again. I then mentioned we had our papers in through LDS Family Services, at that point she stopped me. She went through the checklist of everything we had already had done with LDS Family Services and she asked me if I could please hold for a minute, she needed to talk to the lady that ran A Act of Love Agency. A few short moments later the main woman in charge, Kathy Kokock, got on the phone. The first thing she said to me was, "Sheri, how serious are you and your husband about adopting?". I then told her the whole story which I had just told the receptionist and she then presented me with something that made my whole world stop for a moment, and my heart raced a hundred miles an hour. "Sheri, we have an African American birth mother here that has been here since she was 3 months along. We have showed her profile after profile and she has not picked a family for her baby boy. Would you be able to fax your profile to us ASAP?"

Can This Be Real?

We had looked into other adoption agencies before, but we didn't know how to come up with the money. It had been a little over 2 years when I had the strong feeling my baby was out there. We waited and never heard from LDS Family Services. The feeling was strong some days, and others I just put off thinking that I had the feeling because this is something that I had wanted for so long.

One Friday evening as we said our prayers both together and as I said mine by myself I had the strange feeling to call A Act of Love Agency. We had looked into the agency before but there was just no way we could afford it. The feeling continued Saturday and as I talked to Kendall about it something just felt like we were being pushed from behind to get to a phone. Sunday came and that is all I could think about at church. That is all I could talk about to Kendall is how we needed to call the agency, just to see. Monday morning came and went, and the feeling was stronger than ever and I finally pickup the phone and made the phone call.

Is It True?

During the years of waiting through LDS Family Services, more babies were born into the extended family. Each time the emotions would flow. The why? and How come? and I don't understand.

I prayed every night hoping for a baby, some nights I prayed with all my heart and others I would just go through the motion giving up hope that I was ever going to be a mother.

The worst was one evening I ran into a wonderful friend and she gave me a big hug and congratulated me. I was very confused, and she said "well is it true? Your expecting". WOW!! Now that one just about knocked me straight on my butt!! After I explained things to her I got back into my car, well truck at that time, headed home and the tears began to flow. I cried all the way home and told Kendall about what had happened. He is the best husband in the world and answered with, "OH MY HELL!! WHO HAS BEEN WINDOW PEEKING!" Now on most days his comments make me one very angry woman but this one, lets just say we still talk about who might be "peeking in our windows".

The wait...

At first we were in contact with our case worker every week, then it went down to every month, then every 3 months, if we were lucky. There were so many people looking to adopt through LDS Family Services, and not many babies. The cost of adoption with LDS Family Services are very small compared to the other adoption agencies. They go off of your income so the price is different for everyone, but it is still in a range that you can afford. After the first year of having our papers in to LDS Family Services we started looking into other agencies to adopt from but the price was so much higher there was no way we could afford it so we just waited and waited to hear from LDS Family Services.

Two years passed without any good news from LDS Family Services. We could update our profile, start handing out pass along cards to people to see if they knew of anyone who was thinking of placing their child up for adoption, but because the wait had already seemed like eternity, I had given up on the fact that we would never be able to adopt a child and that I would never be a mother.