I didn't go on four wheeler rides, I didn't exercise, I just took things really easy hoping that if I did this I was pregnant. The time came, we were up camping, and I started my period. I had given up on the fact of ever having a kid. I sent Kendall out on a four wheeler ride with his dad and I laid in the camper and cried. Before Kendall left he asked if I was ok. I told him I was just really tired and wanted to take a nap. He left thinking I was ok. I cried and cried, and even threw a few things around. I just didn't understand why god was making me so miserable. I heard the four-wheelers coming back, I pulled myself together and wore my sunglasses the rest of the night.
We started the ovulation tests one more time. When the results were positive we once again travel to the University of Utah Fertility treatment for our last insemination. We knew the route by heart. We could have closed our eyes to get there. Kendall who was not a city driver was driving like he lived up there. No hesitation, no questions, he was now an expert!
The insemination was over, the doctor shook our hands and we just sat there in quiet for 15 minutes waiting until it was time for me to sit up. I got dressed and we headed home.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Post 12
The ovulation kits once again said positive. We headed north to the fertility clinic. When we got there, we once again paid our money, and Kendall seemed to really be enjoying his new found room, lol. After Kendall was done we went to the cafeteria got some food, then sat in the truck to talk. We talked about this being the time when we were pregnant. God loved us and he didn't want us to hurt anymore so this time it would work.
An hour passed and we went back inside the clinic. We once again went into the room and I got my gown on. It seemed like everything was in rewind and then played forward again. We knew the routine. The doctor came in, said hello again and the insemination started. After the doctor was done he explained to us that if we didn't get pregnant this time he wanted to do it one more time and then we would more on to more aggressive things. Which meant it would cost more money.
We headed home, not getting to excited, because it was to hard to get our hopes up and have them crash down on us. We didn't really talk much on the way home, it seemed like we couldn't get home fast enough. I fell asleep hoping the time would go by faster.
An hour passed and we went back inside the clinic. We once again went into the room and I got my gown on. It seemed like everything was in rewind and then played forward again. We knew the routine. The doctor came in, said hello again and the insemination started. After the doctor was done he explained to us that if we didn't get pregnant this time he wanted to do it one more time and then we would more on to more aggressive things. Which meant it would cost more money.
We headed home, not getting to excited, because it was to hard to get our hopes up and have them crash down on us. We didn't really talk much on the way home, it seemed like we couldn't get home fast enough. I fell asleep hoping the time would go by faster.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Post 11
I was asked to coach the freshman girls basketball team. I was so excited so I said YES! I was getting everything set and ready to take the coaching classes when I once again, started my period. We called the fertility clinic and told them the news, I am sure they were thinking $$$$$$, and they said to get more ovulation tests and come back for another insemination when it was positive.
I was crying ALL the time. One time in particular it was a Sunday afternoon, and I had a total break down. I new it was all my fault that I couldn't get pregnant, I did something wrong, I know I did, If I would have, If I did, Why can they? It went on and on. Kendall held me on the couch for a few hours while I was crying my eyes out, and he in return, shed some tears. I did not understand one bit!!!! I finally stopped crying and I was both mentally and physical tired. We decided to go for a ride. We got into our truck and headed up the street, as we were leaving one of Kendalls good friends flagged us down and told us to look at the tornado in the sky, we thought he was just breaking the tension, but we looked up and there was really a tornado!! Yes, here in little Manti. Now that is a completely different story, but for the rest of the day there was something else to think about, talk about other then BABIES!!!!
I was crying ALL the time. One time in particular it was a Sunday afternoon, and I had a total break down. I new it was all my fault that I couldn't get pregnant, I did something wrong, I know I did, If I would have, If I did, Why can they? It went on and on. Kendall held me on the couch for a few hours while I was crying my eyes out, and he in return, shed some tears. I did not understand one bit!!!! I finally stopped crying and I was both mentally and physical tired. We decided to go for a ride. We got into our truck and headed up the street, as we were leaving one of Kendalls good friends flagged us down and told us to look at the tornado in the sky, we thought he was just breaking the tension, but we looked up and there was really a tornado!! Yes, here in little Manti. Now that is a completely different story, but for the rest of the day there was something else to think about, talk about other then BABIES!!!!
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