Another Day........

We talked about adoption off and on but always ended up angry, frustrated and confused at why I couldn't get pregnant. The doctors said we were both normal, so why was it that everyone else was having baby's, and we couldn't.

Everyone around me was having babies. The first big shot to the heart was when I found out my sister-in-law was expecting. We had bought an older camper and we had been working on cleaning it up, painting, and redoing the inside. One afternoon when I was outside sanding the walls the phone rang, it was my dear mother-in-law. She became the conversation by asking if I had talked to my sister-in-law that day, I hadn't so my mother-in-law proceeded to tell me that my sister-in-law was pregnant. My heart sank. After ending the phone call I sat in the camper and began to cry. Kendall got home from work to find me in the camper sobbing and he know that I had just heard the news about my sister-in-law. He sat beside me and held me. I asked him why? How was that fair? We had been trying for so long.

Soon the next big hit, my other sister-in-law was also expecting a baby. How was it possible to have so much hurt when someone else was feeling the joy of expecting there first child. As time went by, the hurt grew stronger and then came the hate towards all those who were pregnant, everywhere I went, all that people talked about was be pregnant.