Wednesday, January 25, 2012

A Blessing

My sister-in-laws both had their babies, one had a boy, one had a girl. Neither lived in the same town as me so it was easy when they visited to put on a happy face and not let them see the hurt.

Time went by, and on Thanksgiving day we got together with Kendal ls family and had Thanksgiving breakfast. As my oldest nephew said the prayer he said he was thankful that his mom was pregnant. My heart once again sank and as we all said amen Kendall looked up at me with the look that I had seen so often, I love you, everything will be OK. I didn't say much that day. I was numb. I felt like I was in a trance. My body was here but my mind wasn't. The next morning I had a sense of calm come upon me that things would be all right. Was this baby my sister-in-law was having a blessing for me? How could it be?

A few months later my brother-in-law and sister-in-law came to me and asked me if I would be interested in babysitting their baby after he was born. It would be from 8:00a.m. to 5:00p.m most days. I was filled with both excited and anger. I was going to have a baby in the home that I got to take care of like my own, and on the other hand I didn't understand why my in laws would want someone else to take care of their child day after day.

The time came and the baby was born. Words cannot explain my love for this baby and his parents for allowing me to help in taking care of him. My heart was filled with more love than it had been, and a part of me was healing. I loved every moment I had with this baby.

The hurt of me not having a baby was still there, but whenever this wonderful child was in our home Kendall and I were happy.

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